many things have happened today.
i got myself a new colleague at work.
i got a face to face talk with adrian.
i got a memory flashback.
face to face talk is a good thing for couples.
as that could solve all problems and misunderstanding.
and, of course, it strengthens the relationship.
thank god. it's not a fierce arguement.
yet, it is a heart-warming talk.
i wanna show him how much i love him.
and i will always be there for him.
sweet and heart-melting moments.
at certain stages, i cried while i shared my feelings and thoughts.
i told him, if i were to injure my spinal cord again, i might be paralysed.
no joke. it's true. thats what the doctor told me.
he held my face and told me that he will take care of me.
deep down in my heart, i wont want him to do that.
i dont want to be a burden of anybody.
i rather die than to be paralysed for the rest of my life.
thats what i told myself.
all of a sudden, the fear of death lingers in me.
i have so many things yet to be accomplished.
my life is too young and short to end.
well, afterall, i am just a human who fears nothing but death.
while i was walking home, some flashbacks were running thru' my brain.
i miss the days when daddy mak sent me home and then spent time talking to each other.
i miss the days when i was in 'P' division.
tough but happy. i miss them... alot.
although i have found a new batch of friends, i have never forgotten about you guys.
i wonder if you guys have forgotten about me.
well , if you do, i wont blame you,
i was heartless and useless at that time.
the flasbacks were mainly about them and 'P' division.
i ask myself constantly, 'if i were not to meet this bunch of friends,will i still be the same?'
till now, the answer is still a mystery.
knowing that they are doing well.
for no reasons, i feel good to hear that.
few weeks ago, i bumped into one of them in PS.
Daddy mak and the rest came shortly after that.
i had a dinner with them and got latest updates from them.
i felt kinda weird when i were with them.
a sense of difference lingering in the air.
maybe our visions are different.
but i know, that wont stop us from being friends.
To Ad:
Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there with open arms and open eyes.
oh well, enough of my blogging.
i gotta go and rest.
bb and ciao
joreen
Friday, February 23, 2007
an urge to blog
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